Random Thoughts!

Today on this Saturday of February 2012 , I have been going through lots of thoughts about relationship, family friends, life in general, work .Then I realized there is no one to talk to no one, do nothing. If i wasn't lonely what would I do? lunch with friends or visit family? Well not my family... but would I go out to watch a movie or eat out at a restaurant?, go shopping…… I used to have plenty of such Saturdays but not anymore. Perhaps it really does all comes down to the age thing, or singleton state, perhaps it is just something else. Or it becomes hard to relate with married friends. One by one people got married and slowly but surely were no longer part of my life. I was desperately trying to save my friendship with my friends but the reality was that when I broke up with by ex and was no longer a couple - I didn't fit in any more. A couple of years ago someone told me that married women are threatened by their single friends, and although this is hardly any consolation I believe there is something to it. Maybe if I was in a couple I would also lose interest in my girlfriends? Maybe I wouldn't need them to share my thoughts and feelings anymore? May be I just don’t exist on this earth for them. How most important people, friends, family no one exits for you…you are left all alone on your own having no one to talk too and you manage to turn into a completely lonely person and the choices I've made that ended me up here, but I am still not able to stop wondering how I brought this on myself. I have become incredibly used to my loneliness, so much I believe now I am depended on it and yet I find myself surprised and disturbed by it every single day. Because you see, I did want to be lonely, I did not choose to have no friends, no companion, no lover, no human beings as part of my life.
And then, as a last resort I've decided to use this as my latest attempt reaching out there and if no one reads this blog - hey... at least it gives me something to do, and I really need to find something to do with myself atleast this gives me a chance to vent out, otherwise every few minutes tears fill my eyes but I don't cry, but those tears, they sneak up my eyes so often, every time I face one of those very well known moments that touch me inside and just like a button make those tears flow.

Nazeriya!

Pata nahin kuu har insan is duniya mein khushiyo key saath hee jeena chata hain shayad by default he hamari soach vaise hee......sab koo kushee chaiye jeeny ke liye ...dukh kaa dard bahut bharee lagtaa hain....aur har insan ko apna darad sabsy bada lagta hain....

Honestly speaking, pleasure is so temporary and so for short period that it cant be trusted and Pleasure and happiness makes you dependent on it. mostly happiness is dependent with no control of yours and you run after and chase those people who make you happy. You get excited, you want to do everything for them, with them, to them, and you want to share everything you have with them, everything you do with them, everything you feel with them. And in all that, you fail to consider that the person you are chasing is not interested, so your excitements can irritate them, your dreams are a burden they don’t wish to carry (and should not carry), your chase annoys them, and the only reason they are resisting their urge to put you off is because they have innate tendencies to remain kind.
But in turn indirectly they hurt them by not making it clear how they feel about

and hum soachty rehty hain

jindagee itnaa tanhaa kuu hain
hum Jiney chaty hain
vo itny sangdil kuu hoty hain
manna unhey chany waley kam na hongey
lekin vo ye bhul jaty hain
waqt key saath hum naa hongey.

ye kismat bhee ajeeb khel khelti hain
Jise hum pa naa sakey
Unsey hi mohabbat hoti hain!!!