Self Respect

Hosla

 

Dil Lagi Thi Usey Hum Se Mohabbat Kab Thi

Mehfil-e-Gair Se Un Ko Fursat Kab Thi

Hum They Mohabbat Main Lut Jane K Qabil

Uss Key Wadoon Main Wo Haqiqat Kab Thi…

Us Ne Toda Woh Talukq Jo Humari Har Baat Se Tha

Par fir bhe Hum Kitne Majboor Hain Takdeer Ke Hathon

Na Use Pane Ki Aukat Rakhte Hain Aur

Na Use Khone Ka Hosla

 

Muhabbat

Kuch din pehle muhabbat ko muhabbat samjha hum ne..
Muhabbat hui muhabbat ko apna samjha hum ne..


Muhabbat main iss qadar madhosh ho gaye..
Iss ki bewafai ko wafa samjha hum ne..


Zakham iss qadar muhabbat ne diye..
In zakhmo ko phool samjha hum ne..


Muhabbat ki chikh o pukaar iss qadar thi..
Ass pass ke logo ki rone ko hasna samjha hum ne..


Muhabbat ki shidat main aankhen iss kadar chandiya gaye..
Har chamakti hui chiz ko sona samjha hum ne..


Dewaana iss qadar muhabbat ne bannaya humko..
Apno ko begana aur unn ko apna samjha hum ne..


Muhabbat ki yaadein dil par kuch youn naksh kar gaye..
Bhulane ki koshish mein khud ko hi bhula diya hum ne..

Misc - Here and there

 

मुझसे खेलती रही दुनिया ताश के पत्तो की तरह.....,
जो जीता उसने भी फैंका.....
और जो हारा उसने भी फैंका.......!!

 

 

दो शब्दो मे सीमटी है मेरी मोहब्बत की दास्तान..
उसे टूट कर चाहा और चाह कर टूट गये..

 

 

हद से बढ़ जाये ताल्लुक तो गम मिलते हैं,
हम इसी वास्ते अब हर शख्स से कम मिलते हैं .......

 

ये तेरा वहम है कि हम तुझको भूल जायेंगे...
वो तेरा शहर होगा जहा बे-वफा बसते होंगे.!!

 

 

औकात

मै सूरज के साथ रहकर भी भूला नही अदब,
लोग जुगनू का साथ पाकर... मगरूर हो गये.
खुद मे काबिलीयत हो तो...भरोसा कीजिये,
सहारे कितने भी अच्छे हों...साथ छोड़ जाते हैं.
...

सच की हालत किसी तवायफ सी है,
तलबगार बहुत हैं तरफदार कोई नही.
मुद्दतों बाद किसी ने पूछा- कहां रहते हो,
मैने मुस्करा कर कहा- अपनी औकात मे.

Sign of Emotional Abuse

Signs of Emotional Abuse

• Tell lies and half-truths to avoid having to explain their actions
• Accuse and blame to divert attention away from themselves
• Refuse to accept the perspective of others while irrationally defending their own positions
• Withhold information in areas affecting the lives of those they are abusing – it give them the control to manipulate future events. 
• Avoid acknowledging the feelings of others, yet will often bring up how their emotions are being effected
• Slight or take digs in a non-aggressive or joking manner, allowing the abuser to say he was just kidding while still being abusive
• Change the subject to divert attention from themselves
• Make others feel worthless in an attempt to lower their self-esteem and bring them down to the level of the abuser.
• Threaten or hint of physical, mental or sexual abuse
• Deny anything is wrong (not being responsible and lying to self)
• Show inappropriate emotional out bursts (a form of distracting attention, confusing the abused or shifting blame)
• Try and control others to domineer and limit freedom or expression
• Forget commitments and promises.
• Deny success by placing unreasonable demands, unjustly singling out or constantly placing someone in the category of a loser.
• Take advantage of vulnerabilities using shame, guilt or fear
• The actions and promises are out of alignment. They say one thing and do another
• Only be nice when all other options have been removed, when they feel they are trapped into a corner
• Cut someone off so they are not allowed to speak. Suppressing self-expression.
• Look to eliminate the choices of others, while gathering control for themselves
• Ask inappropriate questions or make insinuating comments to evoke emotional responses
• Humiliate others in public situations to show their superiority
• Keep pushing buttons and activating places of sensitivity
  
• Pretend to understand concerns and then disregarding them
• Slander the name, reputation, associations or activities of those they can’t control

Self Esteem and Emotional Abuse

"Great spirits have always encountered violent oppression from mediocre minds” ~ Albert Einstein.

 

From Past couple of  months I have been evaluating things and I have been feeling confused about the relationship,  like you are “walking on eggshells” all the time. or kind of  off balance.

 

A relationship can be unhealthy or abusive even without physical violence. Emotional abuse cause emotional pain and scarring it may not cause physical damage but causing emotional damaging is bigger then physical damage. This is the kind of abuse that often sneaks up on you as you become more entrenched in the relationship.

 

Many days and night i kept wondering but I realize Replaying scenarios over and over will only have the mind reliving negative experiences again and again, only prolonging the suffering. They just breed negative emotions, depleting the body’s energy, clouding clarity of thought, and hurt future relationships

 

 Emotional abuse can touch a person at the core of their mental and emotional abilities. emotional abuse can create all sorts of uncertainty, self doubt and self esteem issues.

 

I realized past events still trigger anger, frustration, fear, hurt, rejection, or other negative emotions. I have been constantly feeling these emotions, and  all these emotions have hold on me.I can’t begin living life in a new way until I get rid of them. I am not obligated to hang around for anyone to completely destroy my sense of identity and respect.

 

Our dignity is all you and I really have. When that is assaulted, we must choose whether to protect it or allow it to be destroyed.   

 

Emotional Abusers are expert manipulators with a knack for getting you to believe that the way you are being treated is your fault. These people know that everyone has insecurities, and they use those insecurities against you.

  

Some of them  I have gone trough myself.

 

Humiliating or embarrassing me

Constant put-downs

Hypercriticism

Refusing to communicate

Ignoring  and excluding

Use of sarcasm and unpleasant tone of voice

Extreme moodiness

Mean jokes

Saying "I love you but..."

Saying things like "If you don't _____, I will_____"

Withdrawal of affection

Making everything my fault

Isolating from friends 

Using money to control

 

Many Sleepless nights, many thoughts, many questions  crosses my mind each day and night. and eventually resulted  being forgetful, confused and unable to concentrate, lost interest and energy to do the things I used to.

 

I decided finally  that I have the right to make my own decisions, in my own time, and that dealing with any form of abuse may take time. I have to Trust myself and my own experiences. also I have to  believe in my own strengths.  and I need to do everything survive to gracefully.

 

Then I  told myself  it’s time to be different and  I have to support myself, my mental and emotional needs in a meaningful and willful manner. And I need some time to heal.

 

Love is blissful when it is reciprocated. Its important for us to know that you may "love" this person, but that they do not "love" you or respect you.

  

 "Truth is everybody is going to hurt you and you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for"